I have to be honest I debated posted this blog as I wondered if it would be a bit woe is me, so you will have to indulge me this once and forgive me for the rather downbeat tone of this post. You see tomorrow will be the 15 year anniversary of my accident and as usual the 27 January is a date that I will be glad to see the back of. The reason for this is that I know as soon as I wake up tomorrow I will start playing the day, the lead up to my accident and the aftermath over and over in my head. I also know that this will be the last year that I can say I was able to walk for more years than I’ve been in a chair. I can guarantee you now that I will do everything I can to make sure that next year when this date comes around I will be somewhere with zero chance of snow and the sun on my face.

Since my accident there has not been a day gone by that I haven’t wished I wasn’t in a chair. I cannot describe the longing I have to kick a football or to just jump out of bed and set off on my mountain bike. I miss being taller than everyone in a room and being able to run up a flight of stairs two at a time. I miss running on the beach, walking up hills, jumping up when Blackburn score a goal and doing forward rolls just because I can.

The truth is that life has been made that tiny bit harder by something as simple as me needing four wheels to get about. This is compounded by small things such as every new journey needs meticulously researching in advance, the constant paranoia brought on by the fear that random marks on my skin could lead to pressure sores and the fascination that I cause every day to people who think nothing of staring at me as a push by. Only the other day I had to ask a man in Greenwich Park to move on as he made a beeline to me and stood less than a metre away watching without saying a word whilst I made my way into my racing chair.

Don’t get me wrong I might wish that the accident had never happened but I don’t regret the way my life has turned out. I also know I am incredibly lucky to be here and without the skilled and special staff at Southport Spinal Unit I wouldn’t be. Who am I to say that I would have been compelled to push myself, no pun intended, every day and to strive to be the best I can in everything I do. There is an argument that the accident made me more determined to face life head on and I am pretty sure that I would have been less inclined to have attempted challenges such as the open water swim last year or my attempts to qualify for this year’s London marathon had I not been in a chair.

Also, for everything I miss about being in a chair there are a hundred things I am grateful for. I have a wonderful partner who every day inspires me, puts a smile on my face and from the first moment she saw me recognised the person I am and not the chair. I am also incredibly grateful for the family and friends, particularly my mum and two brothers, I have who support me and have always supported me in everything I do. I also know how lucky I am and that there are people who feel shackled by their disability because they haven’t been given the confidence by other people to live their life the best they can. After all isn’t that all any of us can wish for?